A shocking revelation about Mitt Romney has been uncovered by one of the regime's premiere house organs, something so shocking it's sure to disrupt the 2012 presidential race. The Washington Post has learned that Mitt Romney was a teenager!

The teenage Romney apparently enjoyed pulling pranks too, which included cutting a "presumed" gay student's hair. Oh, the humanity.

Mitt Romney's prep school classmates recall pranks, but also troubling incidents

Mitt Romney returned from a three-week spring break in 1965 to resume his studies as a high school senior at the prestigious Cranbrook School. Back on the handsome campus … he spotted something he thought did not belong at a school … John Lauber, a soft-spoken new student one year behind Romney, was perpetually teased for his nonconformity and presumed homosexuality … was walking around the all-boys school with bleached-blond hair that draped over one eye, and Romney wasn't having it.

"He can't look like that. That's wrong. Just look at him!" an incensed Romney told Matthew Friedemann, his close friend … according to Friedemann's recollection.

A few days later, Friedemann entered Stevens Hall off the school's collegiate quad to find Romney marching out of his own room ahead of a prep school posse shouting about their plan to cut Lauber's hair. Friedemann followed them to a nearby room where they came upon Lauber, tackled him and pinned him to the ground. As Lauber, his eyes filling with tears, screamed for help, Romney repeatedly clipped his hair with a pair of scissors.

Nevermind the debt crisis, anemic economy, inflation, growing police state, or perpetual war (toward World War III?) … We have Very Important Things to talk about: Willard "Mitt" Romney was a stupid teenager.

It's especially important that we talk about Romney's alleged bullying of "presumed" homosexual today, because President Obama capitulated on his gay marriage stance just last night (to boost his campaign contributions).

Speaking of being a stupid teenager … Wasn't Barack Obama a teenage pot smoker? Yes, he was (and "a little blow" too). Why doesn't someone ask Obama, the ardent Drug Warrior and police state (I repeat myself) advocate that he is, "At what point in your pot smoking days should you have been arrested at gunpoint and locked away in a cage?"

Of course Obama would never have been president if he had been jailed as an enemy combatant in the War on Drugs. Nor George W Bush, or Bill Clinton … Yeah, many of our Ruling Class masters who opportunistically unleash masked paramilitary troops to arrest the peasants are/were drug users themselves.

But then again, if politics is anything, it's a game of lies, abuse and hypocrisy. And soap operas. Which is all this "Mitt Romney Was a Teenage Gay-Basher" story is, a soap opera. And a lame one at that.

Look plebs, a shiny object!

UPDATE:

• "Hence the recent anti-bullying campaign."
• Q: How will Obama's endorsement of gay "marriage" help the economy?
• Obama Supports Gay Marriage, Distracts From The Economy
• Obama: Using the gay community
• So Why a "War on Women," and Now Gay Marriage?

UPDATE 2:

• Clooney, Entertainment Industry VIPs Fete Obama at Record-Breaking Fundraiser
• Thank the Influence of Money in Politics for President Obama's Gay Marriage "Evolution"
• The Washington Post's Shoulders Must be Tired
• "Does anyone have a DVD copy of Wag the Dog that we can watch?"
• Hard Times in WaPoVille: 'BullyGate' Timing Questioned on 'Morning Joe'
• Jon Stewart Blasts The Political Convenience Behind Obama's Gay Marriage 'Evolution'