Andrew Malcom wrote a great article about the difference between the late, great pitchman Billy Mays, and politicians. He starts by stating the obvious:
Politicians sell stuff. So did Billy Mays.
Very true. But what's the difference between Billy Mays and a politician?
Here's the deal: Billy was real. He would only sell products that passed his test, that worked and that he himself used at home. He even handed out samples to guests.
You don't see that much elsewhere in American society today, especially in politicians. For instance, if Billy was, say, president and trying to sell us all on a massive national public education reform program costing billions of dollars, you just know he'd have his kids in those very same public schools, not off safely in some fancy private place.
But there's more to Billy: You really believed him. If he'd been in politics, he could sell fiscal responsibility to a Democrat. He'd have those stubborn deficit stains outta there in just five minutes or less. Five!
Anyway, another special thing about Billy Mays that is also rare among today's U.S. politicians: He could genuinely make fun of himself. Not with some obviously made-up line about his kid taking him down a notch. Har-har-har.
But by joking about his own distinctive gung-ho style. Pointing the finger directly at himself, not someone else pointing at him. Real genuine self-deprecation, which they must not teach in Campaign School anymore.
That's right! If Billy were a politician, there's no way he would sign a bill he hadn't read, or enact laws based on whimsical theories. He would require legislation to be tried and true, and he'd happily abide by it himself. If he was trying to sell a health care plan, unlike members of Congress (and the rest of the Washington bunch), he and his family would have the same plan as everyone else.
He believed in the products he sold! Unlike President Obama, who ended the school voucher program for poor kids in D.C., yet sends his kids to an expensive private school. Billy's kids would be in the same class rooms he claimed were the best for everyone else.
So I say it's time "we the people," using the "power of the air we breathe," scrub our minds clean of our old, tired, political team affiliations. And the next time some pundit, politician, or other "intellectual" dweeb tries to tell you how important these parties are, we'll remember the following words of wisdom from Billy Mays:
You know what, rip me off once, shame on me. But twice? I'm coming after you and taking back what's mine.
Isn’t it?
Perfect.